WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD GODLY GUYS/LADIES??

Proverbs 31:10 "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."!

A friend once asked me, "It seems like worldly men are really good looking, I mean like when you walk around in malls and see all the guys, they're 'cute'. But you know, they're worldly men. Are there men of God that are good looking with that allure of character and looks that the worldly men seem to have going on for them? And where are such guys?"

First I laughed. Hard. Not at the question but at the genuinity of it because it's so real. I've lost count on the number of times single women have asked me about who, when, how they're going to get married. It's a sincere matter to them, and to me too. Most of the time single women (and men) are saying they're waiting for a Godly spouse but they're lost between genuinely yearning for God and falling for the outside worldly pressures.

I told my friend yes. Yes, God has those type of men and women on his side too. Yes, there are handsome, 'cute' as some women put it, clean shaven and well groomed, good scented and well outfitted men of God.

But why are we focusing on the physical?

Let's look at what God's Word says

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance (face), or on the height of his stature (height and build); because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 

Clearly, my friend needed a mindset renewal. Because, all that concern on the physical doesn't really matter anyway. It's the God in your God ordained husband that will draw you him. Not his looks or what he's doing. God in that person will draw you to him. Meaning that, you also have to be in God to be found by your God ordained husband. And when I say 'God in that person', we're not saying that the very moment you notice him, he has to be speaking in tongues, prophesying, casting and binding devils, preaching, singing and dancing for God, or laying prostrate on the church floor bubbling in the Spirit. No, not necessarily. Some people can put up a spiritual show because they know a gullible, desperate person will be drawn in by such displays.

When Anna and Simeon met Jesus, He was just a baby. Jesus hadn't performed any miracle yet, he hadn't gone out to preach yet. He was just a baby. Yet they knew that they were in the presence of the Messiah. Mary and Joseph didn't come in the temple with pomp and glamour. In fact they were poor. They wouldn't get noticed in most of today's prosperity gospel charismatic churches. Mary and Joseph had with them their turtle doves offering which was an offering poor people could afford. Simeon and Anna noticed the Messiah because the glory of God was on Him, and they burst out in prophesy and thanksgiving.

A husband will not always appear like a good looking guy to everyone. And I don't mean he'll be some ugly, dirty, stinking man who needs a lesson or two on hygiene and style, what I mean is he will surpass the physical outlook. Just like Moses, He will "shine" because of the glory of God on him, not necessarily because of how handsome he is. And those who are in that level will see God in him.

I always like to use the story of King David and the story of Ruth to elaborate this situation. Where were these two characters when they were noticed and chosen? It was God in David that had him chosen and anointed by Samuel. It was God in Ruth that had her get noticed and favoured by Boaz. Same with Queen Esther, it wasn't just her looks but the glory and favour of God on her.

Now let's look at the question again and refocus it. Where is the God ordained husband and where is the God ordained wife?

Even the bible asks it in Proverbs 31:10 "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."!

The truth of the matter is that these virtuous women and the men of valour are hidden. Your God ordained husband or wife is hidden/covered by God. That is why for all single mothers I talk to, I always tell them they've got to be covered and hidden by God as a protection from God to deter the attacks of the devil. When in fornication, women are left uncovered and never covered spiritually. You need to get covered and be aware of that covering.

Psalm 91 isn't just a psalm about protection from thieves and accidents. It's a psalm showing the protection of God in all areas of our. When someone tells me (with a smirk and a sense of accomplishment) that they get contacted and asked out by many men or that they attract certain types of men, my question is, "Why are you exposed? Why are you not in the secret place of the Almighty under His wings?"

Circumstances in life that you think are a disadvantage, will hide you. When God chose David, he was hidden in the pastures shepherding and having personal hidden victories overcoming lions and bears. When God chose Gideon to save Israelites from the Midianites, Gideon was hidden, the lowest in his family. Mary mother of Jesus was a humble woman. Ruth was in the special groups category, an alien (stranger/foreigner), lower than a poor Israelite widow woman.

God hides His precious things. That's His nature. It is also revealed in creation; precious stones are hidden underneath the earth. Just imagine you can be standing on the ground and just beneath it, there are precious stones of great value and worth! And in order to get the precious stones, you have to dig and find them. You have to find their 'hiding place' and dig them out. But why does God hide people? He hides them for many reasons.

First of all, and truly for God, He would rather a person fulfills the assignment he/she was created for and goes to heaven and escapes eternal damnation, than for that person to get married to a person who is a stumbling block. Marriage is a very beautiful institution created by God, but it is not everything. God does not see either state of marriage or singlehood as one being better than the other. He can use either a marriage or singlehood in accordance to His plan to fulfil His will. None is better than the other. That's not to say that one shouldn't desire marriage especially if they desire a Godly marriage. Infact for single Christian men and women who want to marry, it's commendable to desire a Godly marriage. God is pleased when you take a concern of such magnitude to Him because it shows you trust Him and want to marry within His will and laws.

God also hides people so that they're not discovered by the wrong people who will be stumbling blocks.

He hides people so that they can maintain intimacy with Him and so that they can FIND and be FOUND by their God ordained spouses and continue living their God ordained lives.

Where does God hide them? He hides them in His secret place! They are under the shadow of the Almighty, He covers them with his feathers, under his wings, Psalm 91:1-4. 

The secret place is a place of holiness and sanctification, honour, a place of an intimate relationship with God. A place of truth in your inner being, whereby you cannot lie to God or to yourself. A place of being totally sold out to God not because of what He gives you or does for you, but for just who He is: Holy. A place where you cast down your crown, cease to exist, and only Him and His will matters.

People in the secret place know that they are hidden and they choose to remain there under the will of God. For them to be reached (in this case of marriage that we're discussing), one has to ascend to that secret place of God to reach them!

These type of hidden people do not approach anyone unnecessarily for a  relationship of "let-me-date-you-and-see-how-this goes-then-we-can-get-married-if-things-work-out". The truth of the matter is, dating for years is not necessary when you're hidden in God. God will speak and confirm to you when you find your God ordained spouse. All you will do is court the person as God is confirming to you the situation. Abraham's servant knew Rebecca was Isaac's appointed wife through God's confirmation. He prayed and God answered. You do not have to date but to court. One good pointer is if the person is within God's will, you can proceed to ask God about him/her. If the person is not within God's will for you, don't bother. Don't bother asking God about a fornicative person. God cannot give you a fornicator for a husband or wife. If you ask God for a spouse, be prepared to live in holiness and purity because that is God's parameter.

People who are hidden by God know that it is the work of God to ordain and provide a spouse for them of equal measure. These hidden people are not anxious,  counting down years and being bitter as they complain that they are the last in their group of friends in the marriage race. They present their requests to God and trust Him to work in His perfect will, Philippians 4:6. The devil, however, can hinder a Godly marriage from a person and in such a situation a person will require deliverance. Satan can hinder a Godly marriage because he knows it will be a powerful testimony that will lead many to Christ in joyful hope.

Hidden people are busy working on their God given assignments and responsibilities that they have no desire for unnecessary things in their lives. Being in the perfect will of God is what matters to them, including praying according to the will of God for their ordained spouses. God vigilantly covers and hedges in these people so tightly that nothing that God hasn't allowed will penetrate their covering. Just like the case of Job, the devil told God, "You have covered this fellow so tightly, I went round his hedge, there's absolutely no doorway!" (paraphrased).

And God informed the devil that yes, Job chooses to be covered and does what God requires to remain in the covering of God.

One of the reasons one does not find those good and precious elusive men or women is because it may be not your time yet. And God will let you know it and He will give you the grace to carry on in the wait with thanksgiving and without anxiety. You will need to be doing the assignment that God has for you at the moment waiting in joyful hope.

Another reason you may not find or be found is you might be a threat to the hidden men and women of God, a stumbling block. You pray for a very high quality spouse, and that is good thing to ask for because God wants the same for you, but the problem is you may not be the high quality person to the person you are asking for, you are a stumbling block. Isaiah 57:14 "...Prepare the way, Take the stumbling block out of the way of My people.” 

The reason you are a stumbling block is because you refuse to be prepared by God. God is preparing you or wants to prepare you, to enable you to get ready for that man or woman. He wants to prepare man or woman so that you can be able to notice them. A prepared heart is a heart that is receptive to the Lord's leading and instruction. One that is able to hear God say, "There is what you are looking for". You may see a precious stone laying on the ground but because you do not know how to detect the properties of the precious stone, you will just pass it. A precious high quality man or woman prepared by the Lord has Godly properties.

Stay on God's altar as He prepares you for a Godly marriage. Let God take you through deliverance from things that can cause you anguish in future. One thing for sure, get deliverance from fornication. This is the number one hindrance to a God ordained marriage. It's a process and a journey, but one which you will appreciate as God takes you through it. I must say that it's not easy but it's worth it. It will save you a lot of trouble in your marriage in future. God will walk with you closely throughout this journey; leading you, guiding you and covering you for good things ahead.