QUESTION TO SANCTIFIED PEOPLE:

I have been dating this man for sometime now. He is a church goer. He is now asking for sex and says that I am boring and that he thinks he should just find someone else he can sleep with. He also says I should move out of my parent's house and live on my own. I am afraid of breaking up with him because I am in my early thirties and time is running out for me.

ANSWER:

Let's condense this question to what's worrying you.

"I am afraid of breaking up with him because I am in my early thirties and time is running out for me."

That's the problem. You're in a relationship that doesn't please God nor give Him glory because you feel that you're not getting any younger and you're still single. You have a spirit of fear, desperation, and a spirit of deceit that's lying to you and whispering to you things that are not true.

I will tell you the truth that I myself came to know and had to repent for idolising marriage. This is the truth:

The best state to be in, even bibilically, IS TO BE SINGLE.

When God calls you into marriage, that becomes another "state" that God has called you into and you should pray about it and enter into it in holiness and purity.

Ask yourself, why do you want to get married?

Your answer will almost always boil down to culture or societal expectations. Are these cultural and societal things of God? The desperation to get married is not pleasing before God. It becomes something you want so badly so that you feel better. That is described as a lust. God did not create you empty so that only a man fills up your voids. Only God can fill up the voids in your heart and soul.

This is the truth about marriage: God allows you to get married/ calls you into marriage when you have come to a place in your life whereby this significant other will be an important component to the assignment and purpose that God created you for. Sometimes, believe it or not, God prefers some of the things He has for you to do, for you to do them while single.

For as long as God has not provided you a spouse, this is what you're to do in your single state:

"He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord..." 1 Corinthians 7:32

"But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk..." 1 Corinthians 7:17

God has distributed to you singlehood for now. That is infact a gift from Him. There is nothing wrong with being single. Infact the Apostle Paul said it's the best state to be in because he was free of hindrances and cares of this world and one serves God better while single.

In your single state, this should be how you walk: You should give deep concern to the things of God and how your walk and purpose and assignment can please God. How does your walk please God in your singlehood? Start establishing your prayer life and intimacy with God, start doing deliverance, stop willful sins, get into fasting, start preaching the word of God and win souls to Christ, start praying for others, and for starters BREAK UP WITH THAT MAN. Get away from him and break all unGodly soul ties you have with him. He is not adding any value in your life and he's not your God ordained husband. Spouses ordained by God do not come via a spirit of fornication.

There're these very important aspects to consider also;

I highly recommend doing deliverance from the spirits of sexual perversion and other spirits binding you because you have to know this:

You may be withholding your season and calling to marriage by not walking according to God's commands. The top most spirits that withhold people from getting married and also destroy marriages are spirits of sexual perversion and also ungoldly soul ties. Of course also, treating a marriage and a man like idols can withhold you. God should take first place in your life. Whatever it is that may be withholding you, you can get deliverance and be set free from it.

In the end when you think about marriage, you will want to enter into it with a God ordained husband that God will have provided you with. If you pray for God to provide you with a husband, it will not be out of fear or desperation, but out of a Godly desire to enter into marriage for His glory. You do not need to date to get into marriage, but to court.

Remember, getting closer to God isn't for the purpose that we get whatever we want, fleece Him and treat Him like a "giving machine". We draw close to Him because He is Sovereign, He is God, He is Holy, He is worthy to receive praise and to be worshipped.

As for moving out of your parent's house, I recommend that you do move out. It will be good for you. Do it wisely. Its not to get an apartment so that this foolish man will make it his new second home.

*Not all questions asked are published to this page. Privacy is maintained. Questions published on permission for the edification of the Body of Christ.*